by Gladys Diaz
Whether we choose to blame Disney movies and fairy tales, our parents, or modern technology, one thing is for sure, the idea of “happily ever after” has people believe that great relationships begin with love at first site, are created overnight, and involve two people who are always smiling because they never argue or face any problems.
Anyone who’s been in a real relationship for more than five minutes knows that this is simply not the case. While the possibility of “happily ever after” does exist, there are several myths that need to be busted before a lasting relationship can be had.
Myth #1: Great relationships “just happen.”
If you look at a happy, loving couple that has relationship that is standing the test of time, it may appear like they just “click.” They get along with, support, and enjoy one another’s company. Not only are they together, but they want to be together. Looking at them from the outside, they make it look “easy.” Speak to this couple, however, and you’ll find that this great relationship didn’t just happen.
Great relationships aren’t a matter of getting lucky. They result from making it a point every single day to nurture the love and respect in that relationship. Unless there is a daily commitment to building the love and intimacy in the relationship, there is absolutely no way that it will be able to sustain the curveballs that life throws at us: illness, loss of a job, death of a loved one, or everyday stress. It’s only when we make our relationships a priority in our lives and give them the time and attention they deserve that we can begin solidifying the foundation and continue building on the love that we had in the beginning of the relationship.
Myth #2: Romance fades with time.
There isn’t a couple I know who has ever stood at the altar and said, “I promise to have a really boring, ordinary, so-so- life with you!” When two people choose to get married, they imagine that the love, passion, and happiness they feel will grow over the years. They never intend to get boring, take one another for granted, or forget to say, “I love you” in their actions and words every day.
Romance doesn’t have to fade. Passion doesn’t have to fizzle. These are choices that are made when two people get comfortable with and forget what made them fall in love with each other in the first place. The beginning of a relationship is exciting because everything is new, you’re discovering and learning more about one another, and there’s mystery and spontaneity. Even after spending years together, it’s still possible to create excitement, fun, and romance in your relationship. The fact that you know one another better makes it even easier to know how to surprise, please, and turn one another on! As with Myth #1, keeping the love, passion, and romance alive doesn’t “just happen.” It’s an intentional choice. If you want to see and experience love, passion, and romance in your relationship, commit to being loving, passionate and romantic, and that’s what you’ll have!
Myth #3: It’s too late for things to change.
One of the biggest myths about great relationships is that, if your relationship has begun to lose some of the passion and romance, it’s too late for things to change. This myth is completely fear-based. Most people in this situation are afraid that they won’t be able to turn things around. They’re even more afraid of trying to bring love and intimacy back into the relationship and that their partner won’t want it. The fear of being rejected is bigger than the faith that things can and will get better.
The most important way to bust this myth in its track is to take the first step toward restoring intimacy in the relationship. While it can be scary to think that the relationship you imagined being a whirlwind of love, excitement, and passionate sex is turning cold, the one way to ensure that things won’t get better is to do nothing at all. So, if you remember nothing else from this article, remember this:
You have the power to create the relationship your heart desires.
If you’re not sure of where or how to begin, reach out to someone who is in a happy, loving relationship, such as a relationship coach or a trusted mentor, and ask for support. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It takes courage and vulnerability to let someone know that your faith is bigger than your fear and that your commitment to having a happy, loving relationship is greater than your commitment to being stuck in a rut.
Remember, happily ever after is possible, and it’s possible for you! And the best news is that you don’t need fairy dust, fairy godmothers, or magic to make it so. The power to make your dream relationship a reality lies in your hands!
Gladys Diaz is a dating and relationship coach, author, and speaker and co-founder of Heart’s Desire International. She and her sister Michelle Roza (a.k.a. “The Love Twins”) help empower women with the skills they need to create they life and love their hearts desire. For more relationship advice, or to schedule a complimentary Ready for Love coaching session, visit http://www.heartsdesireintl.com.